To the Class of 2015
Alethiology: The Study of Truth
Perhaps the wisest literary character of my generation once said, “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” And that wise sage was Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, which I doubt any of you find surprising, given that I’ve sorted most of you into Hogwarts Houses, and one of my most prized possessions is a green, leatherbound copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.
What really matters there is not who said the words, but the words themselves. WORDS ARE MAGIC, it says. Words are weapons for the tyrants, but they are also elixirs for the broken. Which means possessors of words, communicators of meaning, tellers of stories… they are the most powerful souls to walk the face of our planet. Anyone who tries to tell you differently--anyone who suggests your words lack value--has already used their words to beat you.
You must not let them.
The list that follows contains some of the most important words upon which I’ve ever stumbled, words by which lives are lived and grown and changed. Some are words we do, others are words we need. There are words we long for and words we’ve lost. Words we must find again in order to be our truest, best self. Words we must know to enrich our evanescent blips on eternity’s timeline. These are words you do not possess on the tongue, but in the heart, the mind, the soul. If you know these words so completely that you become them, then, by Dumbledore’s logic, you become an inexhaustible source of magic as well.
Appreciation: a full understanding of something; recognizing good qualities of someone or something. You did not get here by yourself. You did not breathe life by your own will. Rather, you have two very important people to thank for that. You did not, as an infant, change your own diaper or feed yourself. In fact, some of you might still depend upon your parents to feed you. You have had parents, family members, friends, friends’ parents, co-workers, coaches, pastors, and teachers who have dedicated countless hours, months, years of their lives toward your success. Recognize that. Recognize them. And don’t just recognize them internally, but speak to them or write to them and acknowledge that which has been done to make it possible for you to soon be sitting on that football field, receiving that diploma, going to college or joining the workforce, becoming your own perfectly imperfect self.
Sacrifice: the act of giving up something valued for the sake of something seen as more valuable. Those people I just referenced above--the ones you subconsciously thought of when I suggested you show your appreciation--know this word, sacrifice, well. Not only did they give you their time and energy, their advice, their words (of encouragement, of logic or reason, of disapproval at times). Those people have given you their lives expecting nothing in return. You do not need to thank them when you’re famous for them to recognize a job well done. You do not need to call and check in with them every other week to let them know you’re doing ok. That’s not what sacrifice is about. That’s not what they need. They have given you everything they possessed because they valued the time and energy they gave up less than they valued you. Pay that forward. Pass that along. Give to someone not because they can give back in return, but because you recognize their inherent worth and you want others to recognize it as well.
Honesty, Sincerity and Integrity: telling the truth; possessing moral uprightness; being free from deceit or hypocrisy. What fulfillment comes from lying, cheating, deceiving others? What joy is there in being known for underhanded or dishonest behavior? It takes ten times the positive feedback on a person to dismiss one negative comment; live your life so you are without those negative comments. Tell the truth, sometimes delicately but always in favor of the dishonest alternative. Do what is right despite it being more difficult than what is easy, because to do nothing against injustice is the same as helping that injustice persist. Examine and evaluate your life, avoiding hypocrisy, avoiding throwing stones while you yourself are living in a glass house. Avoid double standards. Practice patience and an open-mind. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Loyalty: a strong feeling of support or allegiance. I doubt I can express this one as articulately as I would hope to be able, and that is because it is one of the most important. Loyalty does not mean agreeing with a person simply because they are your friend, it means standing behind them even if they are not always right. You do not have to fight others for them, but you had better not deliver them on a platter to their enemies. Loyalty is keeping your mouth shut on topics you were told in confidence. Loyalty is not going somewhere that would upset someone you care about, or talking to someone they would hurt to know you spoke to. Loyalty is to think sometimes about another person before you think of yourself. Loyalty is steadfast and stable. It is a commitment to someone, friend or family or significant other, and without loyalty, you cannot possess any of the qualities needed for a successful relationship of any kind, romantic or otherwise. Joyce Maynard said, “Those who deserve my loyalty receive it.” It does not have to be unconditional to everyone you meet, but to those whom you love, love them unconditionally.
Ambition: a strong desire to do or achieve something. We all have at least one. We must possess ambition toward something in order to simply wake up each morning. Ambition to see all fifty states. Ambition to graduate from med school. Or maybe community college. Ambition to break out of the cycle of poverty our family’s have experienced for generations. Ambition to survive another day under the crippling weight of depression. Ambition to find someone who loves us exactly as we are, despite our imperfections and in spite of them. Ambition is the drive to achieve, and I don’t care about where your ambitions lie, simply that you have some.
Ebullience: bubbling enthusiasm. Probably an odd word. Probably the first time you’ve ever heard it and quite possibly the last time you ever will. Similar to but different than ambition, because while that word, ambition, deals with the moving toward something bigger or grander, ebullience is simply the attitude with which you move. Find enthusiasm for everything you do, whether you feel the task beneficial to your end game or not. If you treat each experience or encounter with enthusiasm, you’ll learn more from the trivial than some learn from their deepest, most sincere studies. Everything has or is a lesson if you look at it correctly. Everything can help bring you into your adult identity if you give it the chance.
Humility: a modest view of oneself or one’s accomplishments. Do whatever it is you want to do not for the recognition, but for the intrinsic reward that accomplishment will bring you. Kind words can turn scathingly malicious overnight; people who once applauded you will use your simplest of mistakes to turn against you. Do not rely on others for your happiness. True happiness--internal satisfaction and pride in a job well done--comes from humility. Icarus thought too highly of himself and his cleverness, yet in the end, when flown too closely to the sun, his wax wings--his proudest creation, the testament to his genius--were his destruction. If you find that happy medium, not only are you in range to pull others up, but you’ll be able to see areas in which you can improve.
Meliorism: the belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world. What an incredible concept. Despite all of the cynical realists in your life (myself included, at times), hope persists. And this belief--that you can improve the world--exists because without it, what are we doing? Why are we here? Without meliorism, our entire existence is demeaned and trivialized and logicked away by pessimists and negative thought. You cannot fall victim to pessimism. You must believe that one soul, yes even yours, can impact our planet. Because one soul can inspire another, and that one soul can inspire another. That is how movements occur. That is the source of revolutions. Meliorism should be that internal ambition to improve. You possess in you the power to affect the world, but you have to access it, nurture it, and fight every single day to achieve it.
Sonder: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and as complex as your own. Now while this word is not recognized in Webster’s dictionary, it was created to fill the void of not having a word for this particular sensation. For more words created to explain feelings we have no words for, seek The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows online. Print dictionary approved or not, what an unusual word. What a humbling realization to make that we are not the center of our universe. That while we exist entirely within ourselves, there are people who exist entirely separate from us but with the exact same level of complexity. Your problems are completely valid because they are yours, but others possess problems that are valid because they are their own. We cannot operate under the assumption that humanity exists on a ladder, that people exist above or beneath one another and not side by side; there are no echelons to problems or happiness or fear. We all possess our own, and they cannot be qualified against anyone else’s. Our experiences are our truth, just as the truth of others is defined by their own experiences. And those truths can contradict one another without either being incorrect or false. An extra in your movie is the heroine or hero in someone else’s. Try to treat them as such.
That really leads to the most important word of all.
Empathy.
I have not found one word more all-encompassingly important than empathy, and I doubt I ever will.
Empathy: the ability to understand and share feelings with another. Every other good quality a person could possess, in my opinion, is a direct result and measure of one’s empathy. Compassion? We see what others need and we take care of them. Respect? We expect others to let us have our own opinions without being attacked or ridiculed, and so we allow others that same basic human right. Loyalty? We understand how terrible betrayal feels and we refuse to allow it in the lives of those we love. Honesty? We’d want someone to tell us the truth, even if it would hurt. Empathy causes us to look at a person and see what they are not telling us, because we know the sort of ways we hide from others. Empathy lets us know how to take care of one another, because we know the type of care we ourselves need. Empathy puts us in tune with the people around us, helps us recognize that all of those extras in our life’s movie possess fully developed, live-in-color feelings and emotions and needs and wants. And empathy helps us make this world safe for everyone. Empathy makes us better, stronger, helps us change this world for the better.
And that’s everyone’s responsibility.
I cannot express my adoration for the graduating class of 2015. Though I’ve known some of you hardly any time at all, you are all miraculous. You all possess some of these words already. You all are capable of embodying all of them. You are inspiration in a tangible form, and I am grateful to have known you for however long or briefly our stories might overlap. I hope that is a long, long time. I hope you never hesitate to return home and revisit those who have sacrificed for and loved you on this journey; know they will think of you long after high school becomes simply a memory to you.
Stephen Covey said, “There are three constants in life… change, choice, and principles.” So now we shift from high school to, for some, college, from college to the rest of your lives. Choose a life you are proud to live every single day. Stand by your beliefs and never waver. Revel in every change you undergo on your way to your perfectly imperfect selves. And while this period of your life is over, every minute and memory you still possess is ripe with potential.
“Every once, once only. Just once and no more.
And we also once. Never again.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
All my ineffable love, intangible and boundless,
Miss Pretzer
