To the Class of 2016:
The Millennial Problem (Actually, there isn't one)
I doubt there will ever be another class like the class of 2016 in my career; I will never know another class first as gangly freshmen over across the parking lot, then as nervous sophomores finally in the big house, then again as juniors who popped in to visit randomly when they had a few spare minutes, all the way--and I’m so proud of you for getting here--through their senior year of high school. After four years with some of you, you’re now on the cusp of adulthood, and I feel it’s my job to give you some last-minute considerations before you take that leap of faith. I am so happy to be here to help usher you on to the next stage of your life. You are about to go out into the world, and there is a great deal of responsibility that comes with that.
By definition, you belong to the millennial generation. Researchers Neil Howe and William Strauss categorize millennials as born between 1982 and 2002, which is funny to me, because that puts both the class of 2016 and the person wishing them well with this letter--me--in the same category. And I don’t know if you know this (mostly because I see evidence of this belief all over Facebook and most of you use this odd little app called Snapchat), but the world has a surprisingly negative view of Millennials. Narcissistic, broke, entitled, egocentric, lazy… the list goes on and on.
I hope that makes you angry. I hope it makes you angry because, as your teacher, I can personally attest to the fact that it is not true. The class of 2016 has activists, politicians, philanthropists, and inventors. It has hard working students simultaneously caring for themselves and their families, but also saving and preparing for college. It has young men and women ready to sacrifice everything by serving in the military. It has individuals who have dedicated their entire lives to a sport or an instrument or a fine art. It has probably the largest database collection of selfies to ever exist so far in our worldly existence, but it also uses Twitter and social media to spread awareness on issues like feminism, institutional racism, and tolerance. The millennial generation will be the generation to call into question everything this country does currently that makes no sense, and it will be the generation to steer our country in new directions that will make us better.
I believe there are three things the millennial generation must do to prove wrong the negative stereotypes cast upon it by those who forget what it is like to be young.
First, be kind. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. It is the golden rule, the lesson repeated to us over and over as children and yet, somehow, one of the first things we forget in any disagreement. The best way to be kind is to practice empathy: the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another and feel with them, not simply for them. I firmly believe that there is nothing in this world that cannot be cured by empathy. It is the most important skill to learn. Be inclusive and patient. Celebrate differences rather than fearing them. Support one another instead of tearing them down. Recognize that what benefits one benefits all. See the good in people; be forgiving of their flaws. Be kind. Ms. Kooy uses the phrase, “Choose joy.” Show those who think so little of millennials that you are worth investing in. Demand the respect of those who do not think you deserve it.
The second way to prove the value of a millennial is with your voice. I am unapologetically an English teacher, and those of you who have had me in class hopefully realize that I have two running themes in a course no matter if it is English 10 or College Writing. In those classes, I teach you to determine what you believe, and I teach you how to express it in a way that is productive. Content and craft. What you say, and how you say it. It is so important for you to determine what you personally believe. Without convictions and morals and values, you are invisible. But it is not enough to know what you believe if you cannot express it in a way that welcomes others into the dialogue. For that, refer back to our first point: be kind and empathetic.
When I was in college, there was a spot in the middle of WMU’s campus where extremists assembled to shout their beliefs and condemn the beliefs of anyone who did not agree with them, and it always turned into a malicious argument when it would have been more productive as a dialogue. One of my classes--a class in leadership--actually skipped our intended lesson and went out to listen to the exchange between this extreme man and those who disagreed with him. And at the end of that experiment, my teacher asked, “Did any on-looker’s opinion change because of that man?” The answer was obviously no. Their anger was riled up and they were energized by confrontation, but no minds were changed. And she said this: We are more likely to influence others by walking alongside them than by colliding with them head on.
Words matter. How you approach an argument, far more than what you add to it, determines the outcome. What you say matters little if how you say it alienates those who you are trying to persuade. Recognize, millennials, that you can disagree without being disagreeable. You can coexist beside people who do not share your views. You can change your own mind, beliefs, and values without being villainized. Worry first and foremost about how you speak, and then what you say becomes more valuable and relevant to those who might otherwise doubt you.
The third way--and perhaps the most important way--to prove that you are worth your place in this world is by your choices. It is the most powerful thing you possess, and if you give away the power to choose, you give away everything. I don’t think this would truly be a letter from Pretz without some reference to literature, so I wanted to share with you the passage of the book, East of Eden by Steinbeck, that changed my life.
“The American Standard [Bible] translation orders men to triumph over sin, and you can call sin ignorance. The King James translation makes a promise in ‘Thou shalt,’ meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel--’Thou mayest’--that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’--it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’ Don’t you see?”
You and you alone have the right to decide your path, which means you and you alone are responsible for any success or failure you experience. And while you cannot always choose what happens to you, you can choose how you react to it. Every poor choice, every procrastinated assignment, every piece of gossip you partake in or pass along is a choice, which means every good decision, accomplished goal, or strong friendship is because you made it so. Take personal responsibility. Own up to your mistakes. Accept who you are, or vow to make yourself better. Do not pass blame. Choose wisely. For every crossroads you face for the rest of your life, remember: you may, or you may not.
I think it is fitting that you face adulthood the year of the 2016 presidential election. And I think, regardless of your political affiliation, the fact we can all agree on is that this election is unlike one we have ever seen before. American is at a point in her life where she, too, is on the cusp of something new. And our generation--the millennials--are going to have a huge say in where we are headed next. It is you young people who will play the biggest part in ending institutional racism, in reforming the education system, in ensuring that women receive equal protection under the government as men do. It is you young people who will write the movies of tomorrow, will solve the problem of global warming, will determine the outcome of the conflicts in the Middle East. And though those generations older than you are afraid of that--“Pot smoking kids with man buns attending Electric Forest are going to figure out how to get clean water in all of Africa? Yeah, right.”--I have nothing but the utmost faith in you all. (I have to believe in you, because I am one of you, and I have seen greatness in you already.)
I will leave you with one last thought before I watch you leave and stare solemnly at your empty desks for the next three weeks until I myself am also on summer vacation. There is a band based out of Grand Rapids called The Crane Wives, and they have been fighting an uphill battle in the music industry since at least 2011, yet they persist. Their fan base is small, but ever growing. They work their asses off to promote themselves and get gigs. They, too, are millennials. They, too, are deciding for themselves the life they will get to reflect on when they are old. One of their songs says, “No amount of waiting will make you, make you brave. No amount of fear will keep you, no amount of fear will keep you safe.” Do not waste your life waiting for the right day to start living it. Do not be so afraid of failure that you never begin at all. You deserve so much more than a half-life. You deserve every good thing you fight for. You deserve to be recognized for the exceptional people you are.
Do not let anyone tell you your voice does not matter because it is young. Do not let anyone tell you your ideas are illogical or farfetched or delusional, because those who changed the world were once seen as illogical and farfetched and delusional. Be so powerful and wise and compassionate that in fifty years, as they review generations and their contributions to history, the millennials will become known as the greatest generation since the original Greatest Generation.
“No amount of waiting will make you brave.
No amount of fear will keep you safe.”
-Miss Pretzer
